In this life, if you want to make it, you have to move with audacity.
I remember crying into 2024.
I was in a fight with someone I really loved and even though I knew it was my fault, I refused to apologize because I felt like the fight was what I needed to finally walk away from a friendship that was draining me.
The friend and I finally talked things through. I apologised and we re-evaluated our friendship but that didn’t happen until late January 2024.
So basically, my 2024 didn’t start great and I assumed it would shape my entire year. How wrong I was. It definitely had its rough moments but was it a bad year?
In today’s letter, I’ll be honest about my 2024 journey. The good, the very bad and the frighteningly ugly and hopefully, you might learn a thing or two.
Some things in this letter will make sense, others will not.
On Career.
At the beginning of 2024, I was transitioning from an old management to a new one. Although I loved my old manager, I thought I needed somewhere with more structure, so I made the move.
I was utterly scared because as soon as I joined, they began to move like I was a superstar and I was like abeg oooo, hold on oh. I am still a small girl please but instead of hitting the brakes, they pressed the accelerator.
I was just in the car like this.
Please match brake nau
I came to learn that – in this life if you want to make it, you have to move with audacity.
Be audacious in your thinking. I also slowly started to learn that perception is everything. If you want people to rate you highly, you have to rate yourself highly first.
If you ask for a first-class ticket on a work trip but you don’t regularly fly first class, they’ll be less inclined to book you the first-class trip. However, if you regularly fly first class anyway, it wouldn’t even be a conversation.
Side note: I have never flown first class, that was just an example but I do want to fly first this year.
Coming from someone who hasn’t been out of the continent in three years, that’s quite a bold statement, right?
Yes. Be Audacious.
I remember saying I wanted to write more scripts this year and I did. I wrote a full-episode series. It will be out next year and I’m really looking forward to it.
I didn’t accomplish all my goals this year as I wanted to be on a writing team for Netflix but we win some and we lose some, don’t we?
On Friendships
Up until 2023, I had a weird relationship with friendships. I was scared people didn’t love me and even more terrified of making new friends. I think it stemmed from the fact that my parents made me very wary of people and kept me indoors for most of my childhood. This turned me into a shy, socially anxious person.
This year, I leaned into my old friendships and things got better. I was more vulnerable. I didn’t listen to my brain when it told me I wasn’t loved. I chose to take people at their word when they told me they cared about me.
And boy was I right because this year, my friends planned a surprise birthday party for me. I would never have imagined that they’d do that for me.
I did not suspect a damn thing because I just assumed my friends didn’t care that much. But they do. And I shed tears like a baby. Me, hard girl.
On Money
LMAOOOO
In 2022, I said money was such a hard subject for me to talk about and man, it still is. It’s very hard for me to spend money and instead, I save. I think this is because my family went from middle class to lower class very quickly and it taught me that life could change within the blink of an eye.
My younger brothers suffered a lot because my dad lost his job while they were still in school and I hated that.
So to atone for being the one who chopped my father’s money when there was money, there is nothing I would not do for my brothers.
This year, I funded both their travel plans and put mine on the back burner for them.
I am willing to do anything for the people I love but when it is time for me to spend on myself. Problem. I am learning to fix that.
If you have this problem, please tackle in 2025. Spoil yourself!
On Wins
I bought a car.
On Mental Health
It’s difficult for me to admit this but just so you know how bad my mental health was, I starved myself on purpose because I didn’t think I deserved nourishment. Lmao.
I finally started therapy but stopped after one session.
I’m still not in a great place mentally and I am trying to find my way but I don tire, make I no lie.
On Love
I have been in love with one person since 2022. This could be beautiful or pathetic, depending on the way you look at it.
On Heartbreak.
I am still on this journey.
On Pain
My friends are truly a blessing but I was at my loneliest this year. It’s always been hard for me to reach out to people when I need to cry and as a result, I cried alone many times this year.
I lost two people that meant the world to me. My best friend was one of those. Her death in 2023 shook me to my core.
I already knew how to be alone but I had to learn how to be okay with it.
The death of my best friend will always hurt me. I don’t think it will ever stop hurting. I have made my peace with it. It will always be a constant pain but I know she is resting in peace. Until we meet again.
I have also come to understand that pain is a constant part of life. Even on days that are sweet, I know pain will come but I also know that joy, too, is a constant part of life. The night is always darkest just before dawn.
I love you so much, Temi. You lit up my world and I can’t wait to meet you again.
On Self
Whooshhhh. For a minute there, I lost myself. I didn’t take care of myself and looked like all the problems I was going through. I want to do better this year. Eat well, take my vitamins, dress better, walk with so much confidence, learn a new language and live my best life.
On Rejection
How I felt about rejections in 2022 is still how I feel going into 2025. I didn’t experience enough of them this year.
I think I missed out on some opportunities because I didn’t put myself out there.
With more rejections come more wins and lessons. Rejection means you tried and that’s better than someone that didn’t even try at all.
On Disappointments
The only disappointment I faced was from myself because when I was supposed to japa, I didn’t and look at me today.
Struggling with Tinubu and his band of miscreants.
Oh well, someone did disappoint me this year and it hurt me to my bone but I forgave them.
On Forgiveness
On second thought, I do not forgive anybody. If we have beef, best believe it is going into 2025 with me.
On Negativity
I had such an experience with negativity this year. I was opened up to a lot of bullying, death and rape threats this year. I think it toughened me up and also allowed me to focus on the love I have. I also realised that unfortunately, this is the price of putting yourself out there. Especially on social media.
But the only way to slurp the tears of your haters to be even more successful and in 2025, our bag is going to be heavy.
On 2025
Next year, I want travel. I want to be audacious. I want to live. I want to laugh loudly and feel the wind in my hair. I want to invest in myself. I want to stop waiting for people to fund my projects and start doing the things I can do. I want to take on the world, quite literally. I want to make more money. I want to stop being anxious. It’ll also be nice to move in with a man (but my mother will kill me if this does not come with a ring lmao).
On Happiness
I’d rate my happiness a 7/10. I’m at a better place this year. And I think that’s a win.
So it really wasn’t a bad year. Alhamdulilah.
Thank you for reading this far. I love you and I’m grateful for this community.
How was your 2024? What are you looking forward to in 2025? I’ll be in the comments.
Oh I have dilemmas. Please help.
My friend is having his 40th birthday next year in Kenya. The birthday will go on for 3 days. He has invited me and I have to book my ticket in January but the bash is happening towards the end of Ramadan. Do I go or not?
A popular actress (and her useless boyfriend) stole my work in 2022 and after blatantly denying it and trying to bully me, I got a lawyer involved and she folded. I was compensated. Fast forward to now, someone has asked me to be on set with this woman. Do I take it or pass up the opportunity?
I want to marry a billionaire this year, how do I do it?
The last song of the year is True Love by Pink. Thank you for sticking with me in 2024.
Comments
Hey Hauwa. Thank you for being vulnerable and bold enough to share. To be honest, I really did learn somethings because I do struggle a lot with confidence amongst others. Thank you! I wish you all the good things of life❤️.
On your first question. I think you literally really do need help with your decision and that’s why you’d ask the community. I’ve read through the comments and I hate to be a party proper but I’d say you shouldn’t go. Ramadan as far as I understand is the real clean slate. It’s the real opportunity to get closer to Allah spiritual. 2024s Ramadan really brought me closer to Allah. I read more Qur’an, prayed more tahajjud and I took my solah more seriously by praying the momenti heard the adhan. And I felt the uplift in my year all round for a very very long time. Because “I chose to keep up with the things I was doing in Ramadan”. Basically, Ramadan is not the end of being spiritual uplifted. It’s actually the beginning of it. So I’d honestly say you shouldn’t.
2. Please do go for the shoot! Because you deserve to be there and you’ve worked your bones to be recognised for someone’s wrongdoings to deny you of the fruit of your hard labour. Be there for your personal growth. Period.
Happy New Year, Hauwa.❤️🥂
It’s heartwarming to see you sharing private details of your life with us, even after all the shege your eyes must have seen in 2024. All the disorder and chaos that emerged from putting yourself out there, and yet you still chose to share more of yourself anyways. Lmao. It’s giving serious “you move mad, I show you that I am the goddess of madness” vibes and I love it like mad.😂❤️
Nothing really much to say, just that for every true sadist out there who derives pleasure from being mean to you, there’s a community member somewhere that totally adores you and hopes you keep on living your best life, and hopefully, we’d soon outnumber your haters. You just remember that.❤️
And as for your questions…
I think you should ask Allah for direction. The reason it’s a source of concern for you is probably because you look at Ramadan as a period to reconnect with your Creator and you don’t want anything disturbing that. But it’s also possible that going for your friend’s birthday is in His will for you. How to be sure? Just pray, and if your going to Kenya is meant to happen, lines will fall in place.❤️
As for that woman, hehehehe hehehehehe. You’re her nemesis. Walk into, sorry, sorry, drive into the set like a boss with those your designer glasses and one mad expensive black abaya, and if she so much as breathes in the wrong direction, take off your custom shades, give her a stare, and wear them back. Just one classic Hauwa “I can see into your soul” stare. That should send the message across. The message? You’re here for the bag and the bag only, and anybody that interferes with the pursuit of the bag, emotionally, by physical presence or otherwise, will be eliminated.🤗
Boya you should branch Saudi this year (because that’s where all the billionaires are, btw), kidnap one hazel-eyed habibi and waybill him back to Nigeria? Idk, that’s the only idea coming to mind right now, but as our community leader, I’m sure you can devise a more effective plan. Anyhow, sha cheers to the billion-dollar ransom and/or a wedding in advance.🥂✨
P.S: This reply sort of and kind of looks like a letter, and as a disclaimer, please take all advice offered with a pinch of salt.😭 Happy New Year once again, Hauwa. Hope this makes you smile, and keep on causing trouble.❤️
1. Follow your heart.
2. Girl, you have to take the offer and let your presence at the set choke her. If u can buy Aboki perfume and spray it anytime she comes closer so that the smell can help choke her more.
3. Please write to us whenever you see one.
Happy New Year, Hauwa ❤️🎊
1. I’m a Christian, so I don’t know about Ramadan celebrations, but I can say that I would probably go for the birthday. It just depends on which one your heart is telling you.
You could try writing a pros and cons list. Lean mostly on the cons. Compare the cons and decide which one you can live with.
2. Whatever that woman did to you has been done. Can you live with working with her? If you can’t, then don’t do it. But if what you stand to gain is a lot more than her bullying nonsense, take the opportunity and use it to give her the middle finger.
3. I’ve been reading billionaire romance since primary school. So this should be easy. Work as a secretary for the hottest man in the world and one day come with a bruised eye and blame it on your ex. He’ll threaten to kill this ex, but fear not. You’ll calm him down. Because the only person he has ever had eyes for is you ever since you stepped into his office the very first day. Keep behaving like a damsel in distress until he cannot get enough of you and finally marries you. I’m sorry, but that’s what romance novels taught me. Good luck❤️
Congratulations hauwa on your wins and achievements. I love your audacious(ness).
On the actress, be the big girl that you are and do your work but don’t be too close.
HAUWA before you bought your car,we no rest for Instagram Street oooo and now you are just telling us. That is why olori ebi is always angry with you. Congratulations darling. Thank you for being a motivation.
Cheers to a new year
Congratulations Hauwa! You deserve the best!
1. You should follow your instincts on the birthday bash.
2. You should be on set with that woman, you’re the bigger person. Let your presence intimidate her! Be audacious!
We love you!🫢
Gosh! Hauwa 🥹❤️ I wish I can give you a hug rn.
May God ease your affairs 🫂❤️❤️❤️
Thanks for being vulnerable and open in today’s newsletter.
This part, especially, spoke to me.
“I have also come to understand that pain is a constant part of life. Even on days that are sweet, I know pain will come but I also know that joy, too, is a constant part of life. The night is always darkest just before dawn.”
I also struggle with pain and it affects my joyful moments cos I keep wondering when the next painful moment will come but that paragraph is something I’ll reflect on whenever my mind goes to such places.
Hey Hauwa! Take the job o, but don’t give her face. be professional but take the damn job
You’re awesome Hauwa and you’ve done well for yourself. Kudos. As for me my 2025 is just another year.. I don’t have any intention of forgiving anymore. Once I cut you off my life it stays like that. I intend to live daily knowing we are here for a fleeting moments, no matter how long you live. I want to laugh and dance 💃👯 more, hopefully get me a KIND lover. I don’t want unnecessary dramas and stress in my life at all.
I love how you were vulnerable in this letter
Ahem
On mental health…I don’t know if I should even be the person giving this advice because…😅
But how I MANAGE my mental health depending on the degree of mental stress and anxiety is
Level 1: Write, go on a cooking spree, play video games
Level 2: Have conversations with myself in my room (of course in a low tone make neighbors no hear), then go on solo dates to serene environments where I can recharge and bask in nature’s pure energy
Level 3: Take long trips and pause work totally (or keep it at the bare minimum) while doing interesting stuff I normally wouldn’t do — change in environment with a change in lifestyle works wonders
As for that thief of a woman…Ignore her past crimes for the sake of your own exposure. You can work with someone because it’s beneficial to you, but a handshake and a smile is not always equivalent to acceptance.
Don’t mention 🤝
This has inspired me to do so much this year.
I follow your content back to back and have been since you were looking for a house and they showed you that place that had no toilet😪 (there’s no madness under the sun that’s not in Lagos).
When I discovered you on substack, it was a whole new revelation, because I knew I was capable of doing more. Thank you for an amazing year of funny, relatable and real content. I’m so glad you got that car. Now no one will ask you why you’re crossing the road.
Happy new year Hauwa❤️
I pray you grow exponentially. You’re a real role model.
The way you’re relatable omg😭hoping this new year will be one of the best!happy new year?!
Well done, Presido. You did good and we are proud of you.
Question 1. Follow your heart
2. Yes, go for the shoot
3. Rooting for you, my leader🙌🤣
2024 was just there for me. Depression got the best part of me. All I did was sleep and wake. There were times that I contemplated suicide but I am grateful for not following through on it. I am a bit better and hopeful for 2025. I want to start job hunting.
I’m looking forward to taking up physical/remote/internship roles for Data Entry/Administrative Support (Virtual Assistant) jobs. I am going to conclude my class on these courses next week. So help me God.
Wishing you all the best 🤗
Congratulations on our car Hauwa😍😍🥂
Cheers to more money this year!!!
Hauwa!!!!
I am sooo proud of you…especially when you came out of the bullying phase. I was hoping you wouldn’t fold and you didn’t!
I am soo proud Wallahi.
On 2025, I really just hope I can be better. It’s the year I’ll clock 25 and I have big dreams I am no where achieving…I just hope and pray it would be better for me.
I’m proud of you, Hauwa.
Thank you making us laugh while going through all of these.
And Congratulations on the car🥳🥳
Hauwa you’re loved😌✨. Thanks for being vulnerable 🤲🏽
Regarding the second dilemma, I think you should go but have a written contract on payment and work schedules in case she wants to move mad again
Congratulations on your new car, Hauwa. ❤️
Last year wasn’t a bad one at all.
This is so beautiful Hauwa. I guess I’d lean into my friend this year. I don’t have a lot…lol
Anyway, proud of you and wish you more success.
1. Don’t go o. I’m Christian but I think Ramadan is a really important season.
2. Of course you should do the shoot
3. Be a 3rd wife to an Alhaji😋
IF YOU WANT TO MAKE IT, YOU NEED TO MOVE WITH AUDACITY.
Thank you for the amazing pieces that you shared every time. I am glad to be here every single time❤️
2024 is a year that I just let things flow as they come, no plan no nothing, and 2025 is the year that I will BECOME ME
Cheers to more achievements in 2025 hauwa
Firstly, I love that you. Secondly, there’s no big deal in being on the same movie set with her o. Start the new year on a clean slate Abi Wetin Herbert Macaulay talk? And if we want to be petty, you can just be peppering and entering her while on set self. 🌚
Happy New Year, Hauwa.
Sending you hugs 🫂 🤗
Sending Lots of love and hugs to you Hauwa
Follow your heart for the birthday
Shoot with the woman; nobody is allowed to steal your shine this year
Hope you have a great 2025🥂
I don’t know why this brought tears to my eyes.🥹
Follow your heart
And just do you…
Congratulations Hausa, we are so glad for taking us on a recap of your 2024 journey. I pray this year will be your best year
Happy new year hauwa..we both have the same goal to marry a billionaire..let us be doin and co as billionaire wife
1. Please, don’t go for the birthday bash in Ramadan.
2. Go for the shoot and do your thing!
3. Me sef wan know.🥺
You’re incredible, Hauwa. Your reels/posts got me through a couple of hard times in 2024. May Allah ease your affairs and keep you genuinely happy. Love you so much.❤️
Hauwa, this was a very raw and real post. Thank you for sharing. I hope you experience genuine healing, love and joy in 2025.
I am grateful to have found your Substack and to be on this writing journey with you. Keep being yourself unapologetically!
Wow! This is beautiful, Hauwa. I enjoyed reading it