My husband is not a pastor but a riitualiist – Episode 29
When I got to the hospital, I phoned Alfred to tell him I had arrived. He came to meet me in the entrance area, with his eyes all red and puffy from crying. At that time, he seemed really fragile and completely sad. I felt really sorry for him and suddenly, tears started flowing down my own cheeks.
Together, we walked to the mortuary chamber, all of us sad and quiet. Alfred’s cries were like a sad song, reminding us of the terrible thing that happened to him. When we went into the cold, very quiet room, I felt a shiver on my back. There lay Judith, lifeless and helpless. Seeing her like that was really sad – no one should have to see someone they love like that.
Standing beside Alfred, I realized this wasn’t just a sad event. It was something more frightening, something dark that had been hidden. My gut feeling told me that my husband had a part in this, that he was somehow involved in these sad things. I didn’t need proof – I felt it deep inside me.
Alfred’s pain was strong, and his cries echoed in the mortuary. A few church members who had come to support him were close by, looking both sorry and unable to do much. They didn’t let us all in, so it was only Alfred, a few workers, and me who went inside. Dead bodies were stocked like fishes and we were reminded of how delicate life is.
At that time, I felt sad not just for Alfred but also because something was becoming really clear. My husband’s jealousy, his strong want for power and being noticed, all of that was unfolding right in front of me. I always knew he could be tough, but now I saw he was ready to do really bad things to stay in control.
Alfred’s success had made my husband feel really bad about himself, like a constant reminder that he could be overthrown. When my husband heard that Alfred was going to be promoted, it probably pushed him over the edge. He got really jealous and couldn’t control it. Alfred’s daughter had passed away two years ago, and now his wife was gone – it all seemed too strange and dark to ignore.
My husband’s strong desire for power made him do bad things. He was cruel and tried to control people. He was responsible for the death of so many church members. He wanted to crush anyone who stood against him, anyone who seemed better than him. As I saw how sad Alfred looked, I knew that my husband was the reason for his pain.
Alfred and I looked at each other, and we both knew what was really happening, even if we didn’t say it. The one behind all these bad things was someone we both knew very well – my husband. But even though I wanted to speak up and show everyone what he was doing, I couldn’t move because I already took an oath to never disclose his evil agendas to anyone. He could hurt me too; he was playing a strange and mean game.
So, I just stood there without saying anything, feeling really sad and heavy with the truth. The room was full of sadness, but under it all, there was something big happening. The truth was too heavy to come out, and as I saw Alfred, I felt really sorry for him. He had lost so much, and now, he was facing an enemy that was even worse than he ever thought.
Alfred’s pain was raw and palpable as he shared his heart with me. Amidst the solemn atmosphere of the morgue, he began to open up about his wife, Judith. He spoke about her excitement and the joy they had shared in anticipation of a brighter future. It was during one of their meetings with the general overseer that the news of his promotion to a resident pastor and his transfer to another state had been revealed. Judith had been overjoyed, wearing a radiant smile on her face as she imagined the possibilities that lay ahead.
Tears streamed down Alfred’s cheeks as he recounted how Judith had taken it upon herself to inform their children’s school principal about the upcoming changes. She had wanted to make arrangements for their children’s education, ensuring a smooth transition despite the distance. The commitment and love she had for their family were evident in every action she took.
With a heavy heart, Alfred shared that this promotion had been a personal dream he had cherished for years. It was a desire he had prayed for diligently, believing that God would one day answer his fervent plea. He had finally seen that prayer answered, with the promise of a brighter future within his grasp.
But now, as he stood before me, his voice trembled with emotion. His wife’s absence had turned his dreams into a bittersweet reality. She was gone before she could witness the fulfillment of their hopes, and her absence cast a shadow over the joy they had once shared.
As he spoke, it became evident that the weight of his grief was coupled with a deep sense of injustice. He was robbed of the opportunity to celebrate this milestone with his beloved wife. The unfairness of it all hung heavily in the air, an ache that seemed unbearable.
Alfred’s pain showed how much he loved his wife and how deeply he felt her loss. Even though he was very sad, he stayed strong in a quiet way, drawing strength from within himself. It seemed like he knew that blaming someone wouldn’t bring his wife back, and it might even put his own life in danger.
He talked to me about his suspicions, hinting that something bad was happening behind the scenes. He didn’t say it out loud, but he was acknowledging the bad things that had come into their lives. Even though he had an idea of the truth, he stayed firm in not saying more. He was afraid of what might happen if he pointed fingers, afraid that he could become another victim after what happened to his wife.
Alfred’s voice shook, and tears fell down like rain. I listened and felt really sorry for him. His words reminded me how easily life can become uncertain, how things we hope for can break because of things we can’t control. As he stood there, telling me about his pain and the happiness that got taken away so unfairly, I felt a mix of sadness and anger – sad for his loss, and angry at my husband who caused such a tragedy.
At that moment, I felt a deep sense of shame. I was ashamed because I was connected to a man who had caused so much pain and suffering. I was ashamed that the person who should have given love and help had instead brought dãrkness and sadness to many people. But in that room, where it was so quiet and Alfred was so sad, I knew I had a duty – a duty to find out the truth and make things right for those who had been hurt.
As Alfred cried in the mortuary, I promised myself silently that I would do something. I would find a way to show what really happened, to reveal the bad things that caused so much pain. It wouldn’t be easy, and there would be dãñger ahead, but I couldn’t just watch the dãrkness continue. With Alfred beside me, we would face the problems together, trying to make things fair for the lives that had been broken.
I thought my husband must have done many really bad things in the past. I was eager for the night when he promised to tell me more about how he became a ritual!st. I wanted to understand better because I believed he had harmed innocent people more than I could even think of.
If he could take his own brother Jacob’s life, leaving Jacob’s wife a widow at a young age, then I thought he must have done even worse things.
Alfred couldn’t attend the pastor’s meeting anymore, so we went with him to his house to try to comfort him some more.
I left his house at 3 pm in the afternoon and went home right away, waiting for my husband to continue his story. I wanted him to tell me all the details about how he became involved in rituals 15 years ago and what really happened to his siblings, his pastor at that time, and Mr. Frank.
To be continued ✍️