My husband is not a pastor but a riitualiist – Episode 31
“Because I grew more devoted to God over the past six years, I became the youth leader at one of our smaller branches two years ago. As a result, I stopped going to our main headquarters and started attending this branch due to my new role.”
“The church grew suddenly, and I had to step down from my role as an assistant prayer warrior. Balancing work and school made it difficult to attend prayer meetings regularly.”
“While I became a youth leader at a branch, Mr. Frank, whom I greatly admired, held dual positions as the pastor of one of our largest branches and the church’s prayer coordinator. He received a salary and better housing from the church due to his full-time pastor role.”
“Despite my admiration for him and my desire to follow his path, I still struggled with strong jealousy. Both of us had contributed significantly to the church’s growth since our membership was just 3,000. It seemed like he was receiving more favor.”
“I already knew which branch my pastor intended for me to lead—it was the smaller branch where I served as the youth leader, and it had less than 400 members. In contrast, Mr. Frank was overseeing a branch with over 5,000 members.”
“I felt like I had been treated unfairly and wished I could decline the offer. However, considering the support the church provided for my siblings, I couldn’t say no. Despite this, I felt unhappy and like I was treated unjustly.”
“I realized that the church favored individuals with the ability to perform miracles. Since I didn’t possess such a gift, I was never given significant responsibilities within the church. Even newcomers who had joined seven years ago after that powerful crusade and had specific spiritual gifts were given better positions than me, even though I was born into the church.”
“It seemed as though because of the ev!l I had considered in the past — attempting to use my siblings for a r!tual — God was withholding spiritual gifts from me as a consequence. This marked the beginning of my resentment and a strong desire to attain spiritual powers by any means so that my years of dedication to God wouldn’t be wasted in a mere local branch pastor role.”
“I made up my mind to accept the offer from my pastor. Turning it down would lead the church to view me as ungrateful and malic!ous, despite everything the church had done for my family and me.”
“Nonetheless, I had grander ambitions. Despite pretending to be obedient to my pastor and the church, I vowed to take actions that would earn me respect and recognition, so neither the church nor my pastor would look down on me any longer.”
“One week later, after closing from work, I decided to visit my pastor regarding the pastoral responsibilities he had offered me. It was a Saturday, exactly one week since he presented the option to accept or decline.”
“Upon arriving at his office, I was surprised to find James, Peace, and Mercy in the waiting room. I inquired about Ruth and Jacob, and they informed me that they were inside my pastor’s office.”
“I entered his office immediately and found them engaged in conversation with my Pastor, his wife Mrs. Grace, and Mr. Frank. As soon as they spotted me, I noticed an abrupt shift in the topic of discussion.”
“My siblings were in the midst of their final high school exams, still wearing their school uniforms. It seemed they had come directly to my pastor’s office from school, which left me curious.”
“As I exchanged greetings and was about to enter further, Mrs. Grace whispered to Ruth and Jacob. They then stood up, greeted me, and left the office to rejoin their other siblings in the waiting room. The way they glanced at me while exiting conveyed a sense that they had done something amiss, although I wasn’t certain of the specifics.”
“I took their positions and sat in front of my pastor, with Mrs. Grace on my left and Mr. Frank on my right. All three of them wore an unsettling expression that hinted at secrets being kept from me.”
“I decided to break the ice swiftly and posed the significant question to my pastor: ‘Daddy, is everything alright? Have they done something wrong in school again? These kids can be so stubborn. They hardly listen to me. Please, what’s the issue this time?'”
“Frequently, my pastor had confided in me about my siblings, particularly Jacob and James, getting into conflicts at school. He would either inform me over the phone or request a meeting in his office. He’d advise me to spend more time talking with them and teaching them values. He was aware that my busy schedule with work and school left me with little time for them, and he often held me accountable for their missteps.”
“He had never summoned both me and my siblings simultaneously. This marked the first occasion he had done so. I grew anxious, wondering what sort of trouble they could have caused that prompted him to gather us in his office. This was especially concerning given that we had a scheduled appointment for that Saturday in his office.”
“It couldn’t have been a coincidence, and whatever transpired must have been highly concerning for him to summon them to his office on the same day we were scheduled to discuss something significant.”
“Given that his wife and Mr. Frank were also present, my anxiety grew, and I feared that Jacob or James might have caused serious hãrm to someone at school.”
“Without any response from my pastor, my apprehension intensified. I turned to Mrs. Grace, addressing her, ‘Mummy, please, what did my siblings do? Have they seriously hūrt someone? What’s going on?'”
“She let out a sigh, exchanged glances with her husband, our pastor, and then looked at Mr. Frank before nodding subtly. My pastor rested his hands beneath his jaw, a look of disappointment on his face. Mr. Frank crossed his arms over his stomach, his gaze distant as if lost in thought.”
“With my heart racing rapidly, their silence deepened my curiosity and worry. Growing impatient, I rose from my seat, intending to leave and inquire from my siblings about their actions. However, my pastor halted me and instructed me to sit back down.”
“It’s not about them; it’s about you, Peter. I thought I understood who you were, but I had no idea that you possessed such a dark side. You’re the most terr!fying and heartless individual I’ve ever encountered.”
“I’m not merely let down by you; I’m genuinely afraid of you. If I had heard this from a stranger, I would have wholeheartedly defended your innocence, even swearing in God’s name. Yet, hearing it from the mouths of the people closest to you—your own family—I’m struggling to accept that it’s true,” my pastor remarked, and the shock was so overwhelming that I felt as if my soul might leave my body. I wondered what Jacob and Ruth had revealed about me that led to this reaction.
To be continued ✍️